Days when u fully sit to think about things. Stupid things.
Wrong impressions made, how you should have said “good night.” with a firm full stop and not a coma, how your reply to that joke was a high pitched sarcastic laughter with a very obvious snort in your voice. Excuse”you were in no mood for a conversation” okay. What about that senseless and very childish tweet from two years ago?, those careless words loosely flung without a second thought, Omg! i actually thought talking about cultism would make the conversation interesting? … i want to redeem myself!!!
How about when my eyes somehow wandered to a part of their body i should not be caught staring at, how i somehow instigated a fight that should have been none of my business. How i suddenly got so desperate to be cool, a”wanna be” in high school. I want to redeem myself!!!
I would pick up the phone and call each and everyone of them. Everyone that has a wrong impression about me because of some thing i said or a look that somehow found it self on my face. “it was a mistake” i would say Or,” you are wrong about me, i can be a really nice person”. Nah. “See why don’t you give me another Chance?” Bleeeh.
There must be a way to sneak up into the memories of them that have crossed past paths of mine. I’ll solve this with a simple logical plan . “Get up, head down south for an erasing sensor charm, giggle Gaggle and down my throat it ll go, in one gulp i ll swallow and forget all of today’s sorrow. Seriously, isn’t that too drastic a measure?. I think now i begin to think deeper because some where in my brain cells lies the answer… But time travel, why didn’t Einstein just make it a reality… Aaargh.
The sun has now set with the night breeze blowing the curtain over my head. I’ve been sitting here rambling my head out. Wasting moment that should have been shared. Dwelling on the most irrelevant of things.
I get up, walk sluggishly into my bathroom, turn off the lights and scream “i am loved!”
This is not what i had intended to say, but oh well that’s a truth. I might as well say it again. I’m loved!… And then i ramble on “I’m human, i can be stupid, i can be really childish, i say things i don’t mean and later get sad about them but most of all, i am loved by my creator.
It clicks, i am now pondering on these scriptures. Join me.
Ephesians 4:2 ” living with humility and meekness, with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you Love one another” vs 23-24″ And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind and put on the new nature created in God’s image, in true righteousness and holiness”.
The brain cells of an endless thinker