9:00: To text or not to text was what this was all about. And just like that two whole weeks passed by. She really wanted to talk to him, to know if he was fine, how he was pulling through the many storms of life. Not like it mattered what they would talk about, didn’t that come to them naturally? The talking just had to start and the rest would be history. Sometimes they talked about nothing, blatant nothings that turned into sweet arguments that would while away time as she smiled sheepishly at her phone…Not many people made her happy, but he did and it sucked.
9:30pm: She’s now typing… “hey, it’s been a while, hope you are fine?” She deletes and sends a “hi”. She sends a “hi” because he doesn’t have to know that he has been missed even though he’s been missed like crazy. “Should it matter? If you want to talk to someone, don’t you just go ahead and talk to them, should it matter who texts first?” She sits rather impatiently waiting for a reply. How desperate does that sound? Ok, she goes about doing other things while waiting for a reply. He is probably busy you know.
10:45pm: No reply yet. This is when the questioning begins. “What happened to her and all the values she thought she had? Isn’t a woman’s heart to be pursued and won courageously? What then is this helpless state of mind? Surely, if he wanted to talk to her, he would have done so long before now” Maybe that’s it, she was in this alone. She’s just that cute friend he talks to once in a while, no strings attached. But wait, do you think he knows that she likes him a lot, that she talks about him randomly to anyone that cares to listen, that she thinks about him for far too long in a day it makes her head ache and then she manages to shove him aside gently so she can concentrate?
In her mind’s eye, he is seen sitting, holding his phone at approximately 9:30 pm when the text first comes in. He sees her name in the notification panel, scrolls down and swipes it to the left. “A matter to be attended to later”. She knows this. She knows this so accurately because that’s what she does to the others. The ones who have turned themselves to pests, texting continuously even when there was nothing reasonable to say. “How can you text asking how the weather is?, seriously?…the weather?”.
Her phone beeps; it’s a text, with her heart pounding she checks. “oh baby, how IS your day!?” it’s obviously not him. “How IS her day at 10;56 pm?” She shoves it to the left in one swift motion.
11: 18: Another comes in, it reads “My most butiful, don’t tell me you are asleep already” She would reply this one …she starts to type “Hello, I am fine. Thanks for continuously checking up on me. Just so you know, It’s spelt “beautiful”, not “butiful”. She’s about to send but reconsiders… There were already a bountiful number of people that must consider her ruthlessly blunt, or mean or whatever… who cares…He still had not replied her text.
“She should get over this, she really should. What kind of a lady goes around sending unreplied hi’s to someone who could care less. Okay, calm down, it’s just one person and right now, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter”.
11:38: He’s online. He reads the message. He’s still online. There’s no reply.
Her mind’s eye was right after all because he went off just like that. She was in this alone. She had been in this alone.
11: 38pm GMT: It hurt like hell. The message was clear. Maybe she would shed a tear or two, or better still, none. Uncertain about every other thing but certain about one…At 11:38pm GMT, I watched her give up on him.
It really was hard work. Tossing him just like that in the waste bin of her heart. She had lied because she cried herself to sleep. She would blame it later on the movies. They were super emotional. Sad stories that could squeeze out tears from even the heartless ones. So, who was she to say no when the tears came bountifully?, in fact, she had no say in that. And about the way she felt now, there was an explanation…She had been working really hard lately, skipping meals and all that. Hasn’t research proven over time that stress could lead to prolonged loss of appetite and even demotivation?. So you see, the question about her slow, lazy like attitude has been answered…I can go on and on but you get the point, she doesn’t miss him at all, she hasn’t for once even sat to think about what could have been , she doesn’t mop around about how wide he made her smile. She doesn’t care. She would get up, pretend like this never happened and move on with her life. “Can’t you see that she loved him still?”
6:00pm: Her phone rings. She starts to run, then slows down. “Why should she be in a hurry to get her phone? an ordinary gadget that can be disposed easily?” . It’s him.
He’s calling… “like that isn’t clear already” Her heart is pounding so hard you would hear if you listen. It’s a new feeling, really confusing. She would not pick this call. She is not desperate. “but what if he doesn’t call back ?…then he definitely doesn’t deserve her” . She’s still staring at the screen when it cuts. She is very dramatic so she sits on the floor and starts thinking about her life, thinking of the most appropriate word to describe what just happened. “Was it pride or foolishness?”
Her phone rings again. No contemplation. She picks. It’s him. “Hey boo, it’s been a while” did he just call her boo?, “sit down and stop getting excited” . Remember, she doesn’t care. He goes on to rant on about how his week has been hectic… “go straight to the point, we are not interested in all this drama”.” Could you get dressed and meet me outside your apartment, it’s urgent?” Ehen, there was something urgent, that’s why he called? Okay she would go out.
She doesn’t care but she dashes in to wash her face, throws on “light makeup which is as good as no makeup, just a small touch because she must look great for herself to prove that she can be happy without him.
I’m watching her get a pair of high heeled shoes and I think I am now lost as to her intention. She says she planned going out anyways, so she would take herself out after whatever it was that was so urgent.
7:00pm GMT: I watch her. I can’t make out her expression so I move closer. There’s soft music and a few people who seem happy. I hear it audibly. Even though it doesn’t make sense, I think I get it. She just said “yes” to the guy on one knee.
Now let’s talk about you. Yes, you amazing person reading this piece. I can’t get into your head to know what you’re thinking but I’m guessing: “Ok, what should we now do?” or “Awwwn”.
This story is still being written because this is you. This is you when you get to that point of desperation to hear from God. You want an answer, you want him to speak. You are checking your time every now and then, getting impatient… It’s normal. But just remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For i know the thoughts and plans i have for you, says the Lord, thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you hope in your final outcome”
So stop fretting, God’s got you.