“I remember begging God to kill me” #BeingReal

Veekhy’s note: Here is another episode of #BeingReal where real people share real stories. This is Lacy’s story; about stumbling hard, broken bones and rebirths. Be blessed.

I was on my balcony arguing with some friends of mine and we had been drinking earlier that day. They wanted to fight, so with my adrenaline pumping I climbed over my balcony (63 ft) and tried to climb down thinking that my long legs would be able to reach the balcony under mine and I could just spider climb down. (Now I realize how ridiculous that is, I WAS DRUNK).

When I realized I wouldn’t be able to make it to the balcony beneath mine, I climbed back up and whilst trying to put my foot in between the rails to get back on my balcony I slipped, my arm couldn’t handle my weight and I fell!

I landed on concrete. I broke both of my feet, both of my ankles, both of my knees, shattered my jaw in 4 places, broke both eye sockets and ribs. I lost all of my teeth, cut my nose and chin to the bone which needed several stitches and several road rashes and bruises, also busted my ear drum and had bleeding on the brain and stomach. It was very terrible.

I was in the hospital for three weeks but was supposed to be in there for a couple months. when i woke up from all this i was distraught, all my plans and future had been ripped from underneath me and i remember begging God to kill me while lying on the concrete and trauma table.

Now, before this happened to me I was living in Dallas for about 9 months. Also, before moving to Dallas I was strong in my faith and promised myself and God that when I moved to Dallas I wouldn’t let the fast paced life take a hold of me. It did eventually.

I began working at a strip club as a waitress, partying all the time and strayed very far away from God. While all this was taking place He tried so many times to get my attention and I just ignored Him and kept trying to justify my actions. The Holy Spirit convicted me so many times but I ignored. God placed several people in my life to try and get my attention to get me off the destructive path I was leading down.

Through all this, God is God. Although I wasn’t able to walk for 7 months, I believe God wanted me to use that time to get back on track in my walk with Him and strengthen it up more than ever.

I began to study the bible and learn more about my savior and also figure out who I truly am.

Truth is, I will have scars on my face which is very humbling as I was extremely vain before. I cared so much about my looks.

I had that time to really sit down and come to terms with who I really am and truly figure out what I’m suppose to do in this world instead of promoting and doing evil.

It’s insane how God works, and I’m so overwhelmed and amazed at what He has done for me. I just want to spread His word now and tell the world what He has done for me.. I pray you take the time to read this and understand that GOD IS REAL AND WORKS IN CRAZY WAYS. I should have died, but I didn’t He gave me a second chance at life and by the grace of God I’m going to do everything I can to be the Christian He wants me to be.

Sometimes i fail, but i wake up every morning and try again. God will never stop working on me and I wouldn’t change a thing. I got baptized a few months after when i was able to finally get my legs wet.

I see pictures of my old self and I honestly have no idea who that person is. I was so sad before all of this and I still can’t believe this happened to me, but most importantly, God saved me and for the rest of my life I will worship Him!

I pray you get something from this, because He’s real, and so is Heaven. I felt it.

PS: God bless Lacy for sharing this with us, it is indeed a humbling one that reveals the depth of God’s grace. No matter how far you have strayed, God is always waiting with open arms to welcome you home. Have a lovely week. Do you have story to share that would bless lives?

Simply send a message to the “VEEKHYTHINKS” facebook page or “veekhythinks_blog” on instagram.

By the way, this is still cooking #BoldSteps

You can also listen to my poetry collection here: